THE GOD HUNT

"This is what it can be like to hunt for God. The concept of hunting and finding has great power to evoke longing, emotions, particular understandings, even compulsive activity in all of humankind, no matter the age or intelligence. The aptitude for hunting for and finding God is native to every human heart, but as we mature we often lose or neglect the capacity to do so. We only become intent on finding Him when terror is nearby, when sadness insists on keeping company, or when pain becomes a relentless stalker. Let us instead begin the God Hunt as a game of Hide-and-Seek - in a child-like way, with laughter and delight..."

I highlighted this part of the book I received on my birthday last year, entitled: THE GOD HUNT...guven by two of my good friends. The actual cover actually shows a toddler trying to open a door of some kind of barn trying to peek and look for someone or something inside of it...kind of like of course, the game of Hide-and Seek.

Up at this time, I still haven't finished the book but I've learned a lot from it already. Ever wondered if God cared? If He cared about this life we're all living? Well, YES, Of course He does!!! It's just that as we grow older, we lose that part of our childhood where we're still amazed by the things we see or even at the things happening around us. Sometimes we tend to figure out things on our own and if it didn't turn out the way we wanted to, we trace our steps back and figure out what went wrong... But let me focuse on being amazed. Most of the time we say: "Oh wow! Okay I've seen this stuff, it's good or it's great!...Do you have anything else amazing you can show me? Something that'll surprise me again." You see, people sdon't get too amazed anymore. That's why we strive so hard to invent new things, re-invent ourselves and more. But only one thing remains...If all else fails and if everything else has been taken away...You'll see God's still there doing something for you...He's waiting. Waiting for you to find Him. He said it best on Jeremiah 29:13: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

He never failes to get the sun to shine down on us... (though the UV rays can cause damage to my skin coz of the holes in the Ozone layer caused by Global Warming - bu that's another story). He never failes to give us another day to do the things we love to do. Go out, Work, Staudy and Play... just doing what we need and what we want to do, then comes another day to do it all over again...

One thing I've learned from the God Hunt is to have time to appreciate the things, every littlest of things that can make me, make us happy. Eventually, you'll be reminded of all the good things, the better things, and the BEST things you have and is still having. Then follows the surprise - in fact, a lot of surprises. You'll just be amazed because, come to think of it... Do I deserve to have everything that's going in our lives, every good things happening our way?? I guess I do! It's a BLESSING!!!

...missing you...

how can i keep you

in memory of me?

to hug you in my arms

as i lay here in silence...

knowing that I am not with you

alone in a world so full of despair.

to reach out would be impossible to grasp

knowing that for the first time

we'd be living in our past...

back with the memories to cherish,

that every moment we wake to find each other

to be on each side whenever we call...

now we're miles away,

will i be able to stand up again when i fall?

now that you're not here.

just to hear your voice

will be enough for a time,

as i long for your presence in my life.

will i ever get free from this dillema

as i reach out for you

before i drift to eternity

though time was set apart,

i'd be brave enough to wait...

i'll long for the moment to be with you again...someday.

to make you feel my love as you reach for me...

my most precious gift...

my love for eternity.

who moved my cheese???

This is like my version of that famous book by Spencer Johnson…one of the bestseller… the famous story of “sniff” and “scurry” and the humans ‘Hem’ and ‘Haw’… of their way of dealing with change in their lives…

Okay, so…my own version? What’s my way of dealing with change in my life? I know the book talks about dealing with change in our lives, in every area…and still living gracefully…no matter what. Whenever I see myself not being able to cope up with the changes going on around me, I always end up asking myself… “Who moved my cheese?” It’s like sniff and scurry on the book where they used to go to Cheese Station C to go back for the available cheese, until one day, they find that the cheese is all gone. But they managed to find another Cheese Station in the course of the story because they keep moving the cheese…

Well, back to my own struggle, it’s like someone took out my comfort zone, and everything I’ve ever held on to was gone…what will you do??? But then, somehow, you weren’t aware that you were just being tested… Will you pass the test?

Me? I’ve just found out that I’ve failed the test… on the part where the change was already taking place in my life…

I knew that it was coming… I even planned for it. Still, I’ve failed. Why? Because I only had a good start, but slowly and slowly, as you go through the course of transition or the change, I find myself lost, trying to trace my steps back only to find that I’m just back at the point where the “change” started… no way of going back beyond the starting point. I see myself craving for my old ways where I know everything, where I can do everything…not here where I’m all clueless and had nowhere to go but forward… you see, part of me was afraid to make mistakes… afraid that somehow, If I mess this up, I won’t be able to go on anymore.

What was my failure? I can only take in one change at a time… give me another one, I won’t be able to take in another one. I admit that I am weak. I can’t concentrate if you throw apples and mangoes my way at the same time… (Can you?) I’ll start with the much more convenient one…I’ll start with mangoes I guess, coz’ that’s my favorite! But then if you push the apples on me, I’m afraid I won’t be able to get it, let alone make it… now I find rotten apples all over me (I can imagine people shouting ‘boo’ everywhere). And I’m left picking up the pieces to clean up.

I never chose my cheese to be moved but I got no choice… all I’m left is a second chance. And this time, I hope I can juggle both, wait, not only both, everything thrown my way… I will need all the help I can get!

Just trying to breathe …