THE DOWNSIDE OF PASSION

It’s a wonderful thing to experience passion. Passion and true belief in something always appear thematically throughout movies, books, and television. So often in such a way, in fact, that I think people often start to believe it only exists in fictitious realms, never to be taken as something real --- leave it between the pages in the theatre.

But I know passion. There have been many times in my life where I’ve been a part of something that stirred my soul, something that touched me in a way that it couldn’t be ignored or quenched. One of these, and most intense, was the love of my God; another, the love of a woman. When your faith is all but destroyed and the one you love is lost, passion turns against you. It becomes your rage and hurt and disappointment. It becomes fuel for animosity. These are the valleys.

Then comes decision time. I chose (after some self-indulgence and self-pitying), despite these loses and hurts, to move forward in my life. Standing on the edge, I found myself much like the author of Ecclesiastes. Like the final chapter of Ecclesiastes, with a last breath of desperation and willing to risk it all, I cast all my hope on the God whose existence I wasn’t even sure of anymore…

From: “I Know Passion” by J.L. Eubanks

for you...

My life has never been this much exciting if not for you…

You’ve brought so much colors and love on my way,

And everyday I wake up, I find myself loving you more…

Treasuring the relationship we started a time ago.

Even from a distance, you still make me feel

How much important, how special I am for you.

How the world would be incomplete without this “you” and “me”.

I’ll never be complete without you.

Thank you for always bringing your love my way.

For being the man I never expected but being who you are to me.

I can never ask for so much more,

But I’ll only ask for more of you.

And more of you in my life...

To wake up and see that you are with me…

It’s a great joy for me to know,

That I’ll have you for the rest of my life…

And we can love each other for all eternity…

I love you! I love you! I love you!

why?

why?

why do i feel this way?

why am i not happy for you?

i know i should be...

but i guess i just have a lot of things going on my mind.

so many other things to think about,

rather than to be happy for you.

i know this is wrong.

i was shocked! you caught me offguard.

i really don't have anything against it

and i certainly don't have feelings for that person

maybe, just maybe

i'm just expecting something else.

that your journey will take a while

before you get to a conclusion

before you can even say that "this is it."

it's not my ideal relationship

but that is your life.

i'm just a friend.

your sister who cares for you.

i know i just have to let this through and clear my mind.

i'm sorry if i can't concentrate on you right now.

i just have to think of something else going on around me...

don't worry. there will come a time....

when i can focus on you and that 'someone' you're with

and be happy for you...

...i will...

i guess this pretty much says how i've felt when i heard the news...

relationships are vital....it's the most important thing.

and we need to be prepared when we go into something farther than just being friends...and more than that...

OVERCOMING THE ENEMY

This is one of the topics we've discussed yesterday in my cellgroup. I'm glad it made us realize one simple fact.... "God gave us the power to overcome the Enemy". Hope this reminds us always that things will always happen for a reason. It is either by our own choice or someone is playing us around, always trying to let us lose our game. But thank God, we have the power to overcome anything that comes our way.

The following are ways God gave us to overcome the enemy:

1. BE FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT.
- Luke 4:1-2
- Lesson from the story: there will come a time in your life when you will be tested especially on occassions where you are filled with the presence of God. If that time comes, you should be ready to face the enemy. Just like what Jesus did.
-Since Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit, He was able to overcome the devil's schemes by His Faith and God's Word.

2. STRENGTHEN YOUR FAITH WITH GOD'S WORD:
- Psalm 119:11 "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against You."
- Heeding God's Word:
(a) Fills Us;
(b) Instructs Us;
(c) Warns Us;
(d) Prevents us from sinning
(e) Helps us to know God more;
(f) Teaches us how to live Life.

3. WATCH AND PRAY:
- Matthew 26:41 (The Message Bible)
- "Stay Alert; be in prayer so you don't wander into temptation without even knowing you're in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there's another part that's as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire."
- "The Spirit is willing but the body is weak."
-If we fill up our bodies with food to be strengthened, lest's also fill up our spirits with the word of God.
- Train ourselves to be filled with the Holy Spirit by praying and being alert.

4. BE SELF-CONTROLLED:
- 1 Peter 5:8 "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."
- Keep a cool head and keep your guard up.

5. RESIST THE DEVIL:
- James 4:7 " Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
- Let God work His will in you.
- The devil is destined to flee from you "IF" you resist him.

6. PUT ON THE FULL ARMOUR OF GOD:
- Ephesians 6:11 " Put o the full armour or God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."
- God's Full Armour:
(a) Helmet of Salvation
(b) Breastplate of Righteousness
(c) Belt of Truth
(d) Shoes of the Proclaiming the Gospel
(e) Shield of Faith
(f) Sword of the Spirit - which is the Word of God.

WHAT’S YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE???

This was the teaching of our church’s Senior Pastor last February 24 this year. My goodness, I didn’t notice that it’s been a long time already but all I know is that this is still worth posting and sharing and worth reading especially for those individuals, friends, couples, married people and for those who are searching…that is for love… First is to take a look at ourselves and check out what defines us… Are we a person who loves to give and to share…or Are we the opposite who likes to take what is given to us… or Are we both? Well, let’s find out…

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

· Saying something about the well being of that someone you love.
· Giving encouragement
· Kind Words
· Humble words - ones that do not demand

- Hmmm…I guess I can do that…but meaning every word you say means a lot of difference and that’s what makes the relationship stronger.

2. QUALITY TIME

· Giving someone your undivided attention
· Spending time at least 20 minutes per day with that person.
· It’s learning how to talk and express our feeling with that someone.

- So, do I love my work much? Coz I’m spending even more than 20 minutes per day for it??? Does that count? =)

3. RECEIVING GIFT

· Gift-giving is the fundamental expression of love.
· “You can give without loving, but you cannot Love without giving.”
· Gifts are fundamental expression of love.
· The Best Gift you can give is the gift of yourself.
·
- Need I say more???

4. ACTS OF SERVICE

· Humbling yourself and doing something for that person you love
· I.E. Cleaning the house, doing the laundry…etc… (a maid??? nah!)
· Just as simple as doing something for that someone you love, something that you really hate doing for them but you know will make them happy…so much happy coz you did it for them.

- Oh, well…let me think it through… hehehe

5. PHYSICAL TOUCH

· Communicating emotional love
· Powerful vehicle for communicating love.
· A Touch, Love expressed, hug
· Assurance of love

- I agree… a simple hug can assure a person that they are not alone and everything will be alright.

"help me remember"

it's been a while and i'm trying to remember
the way things used to be
when you were still with me...

in every way, i still feel the same
knowing that the pact we've made
...will forever be...

together on a journey
but going through it apart
the only thing that matters;
we're connected by the heart

the paths covered by fog
and we used to stumble
with only words, messages & calls
leaving us hanging on the edge.

sometimes i see myself thinking
"is this worth going through?"
when i can leave things for a while
then stay...

i know i won't let go,
i'll be loyal to my word
but living on worlds apart...
is a risk too hard to take.

remind me everytime how much i have loved
help me remember how much i've cared
even though challenged by a blinding road,
the moment you return i will still be there.

and yes i'm still here as i reminisce our days
love keeps me strong...let it not fade.

THE GOD HUNT

"This is what it can be like to hunt for God. The concept of hunting and finding has great power to evoke longing, emotions, particular understandings, even compulsive activity in all of humankind, no matter the age or intelligence. The aptitude for hunting for and finding God is native to every human heart, but as we mature we often lose or neglect the capacity to do so. We only become intent on finding Him when terror is nearby, when sadness insists on keeping company, or when pain becomes a relentless stalker. Let us instead begin the God Hunt as a game of Hide-and-Seek - in a child-like way, with laughter and delight..."

I highlighted this part of the book I received on my birthday last year, entitled: THE GOD HUNT...guven by two of my good friends. The actual cover actually shows a toddler trying to open a door of some kind of barn trying to peek and look for someone or something inside of it...kind of like of course, the game of Hide-and Seek.

Up at this time, I still haven't finished the book but I've learned a lot from it already. Ever wondered if God cared? If He cared about this life we're all living? Well, YES, Of course He does!!! It's just that as we grow older, we lose that part of our childhood where we're still amazed by the things we see or even at the things happening around us. Sometimes we tend to figure out things on our own and if it didn't turn out the way we wanted to, we trace our steps back and figure out what went wrong... But let me focuse on being amazed. Most of the time we say: "Oh wow! Okay I've seen this stuff, it's good or it's great!...Do you have anything else amazing you can show me? Something that'll surprise me again." You see, people sdon't get too amazed anymore. That's why we strive so hard to invent new things, re-invent ourselves and more. But only one thing remains...If all else fails and if everything else has been taken away...You'll see God's still there doing something for you...He's waiting. Waiting for you to find Him. He said it best on Jeremiah 29:13: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

He never failes to get the sun to shine down on us... (though the UV rays can cause damage to my skin coz of the holes in the Ozone layer caused by Global Warming - bu that's another story). He never failes to give us another day to do the things we love to do. Go out, Work, Staudy and Play... just doing what we need and what we want to do, then comes another day to do it all over again...

One thing I've learned from the God Hunt is to have time to appreciate the things, every littlest of things that can make me, make us happy. Eventually, you'll be reminded of all the good things, the better things, and the BEST things you have and is still having. Then follows the surprise - in fact, a lot of surprises. You'll just be amazed because, come to think of it... Do I deserve to have everything that's going in our lives, every good things happening our way?? I guess I do! It's a BLESSING!!!

...missing you...

how can i keep you

in memory of me?

to hug you in my arms

as i lay here in silence...

knowing that I am not with you

alone in a world so full of despair.

to reach out would be impossible to grasp

knowing that for the first time

we'd be living in our past...

back with the memories to cherish,

that every moment we wake to find each other

to be on each side whenever we call...

now we're miles away,

will i be able to stand up again when i fall?

now that you're not here.

just to hear your voice

will be enough for a time,

as i long for your presence in my life.

will i ever get free from this dillema

as i reach out for you

before i drift to eternity

though time was set apart,

i'd be brave enough to wait...

i'll long for the moment to be with you again...someday.

to make you feel my love as you reach for me...

my most precious gift...

my love for eternity.

who moved my cheese???

This is like my version of that famous book by Spencer Johnson…one of the bestseller… the famous story of “sniff” and “scurry” and the humans ‘Hem’ and ‘Haw’… of their way of dealing with change in their lives…

Okay, so…my own version? What’s my way of dealing with change in my life? I know the book talks about dealing with change in our lives, in every area…and still living gracefully…no matter what. Whenever I see myself not being able to cope up with the changes going on around me, I always end up asking myself… “Who moved my cheese?” It’s like sniff and scurry on the book where they used to go to Cheese Station C to go back for the available cheese, until one day, they find that the cheese is all gone. But they managed to find another Cheese Station in the course of the story because they keep moving the cheese…

Well, back to my own struggle, it’s like someone took out my comfort zone, and everything I’ve ever held on to was gone…what will you do??? But then, somehow, you weren’t aware that you were just being tested… Will you pass the test?

Me? I’ve just found out that I’ve failed the test… on the part where the change was already taking place in my life…

I knew that it was coming… I even planned for it. Still, I’ve failed. Why? Because I only had a good start, but slowly and slowly, as you go through the course of transition or the change, I find myself lost, trying to trace my steps back only to find that I’m just back at the point where the “change” started… no way of going back beyond the starting point. I see myself craving for my old ways where I know everything, where I can do everything…not here where I’m all clueless and had nowhere to go but forward… you see, part of me was afraid to make mistakes… afraid that somehow, If I mess this up, I won’t be able to go on anymore.

What was my failure? I can only take in one change at a time… give me another one, I won’t be able to take in another one. I admit that I am weak. I can’t concentrate if you throw apples and mangoes my way at the same time… (Can you?) I’ll start with the much more convenient one…I’ll start with mangoes I guess, coz’ that’s my favorite! But then if you push the apples on me, I’m afraid I won’t be able to get it, let alone make it… now I find rotten apples all over me (I can imagine people shouting ‘boo’ everywhere). And I’m left picking up the pieces to clean up.

I never chose my cheese to be moved but I got no choice… all I’m left is a second chance. And this time, I hope I can juggle both, wait, not only both, everything thrown my way… I will need all the help I can get!

Just trying to breathe …